Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Your child care center is closed this week. So I'm 'working' from home with you. I love that I have a job this flexible. I love that while you were growing inside me I could say things like 'I'll be on email until the nausea passes.'. I love my coworkers. That staff meetings include at least twenty minutes of personal updates. Most importantly I love what I do. Helping ladies like the ones who take care of you get their education and navigate the system.

Of course you heard the but 5 sentences ago.

I can't stand being away from you eight hours every day. Your father and I have almost figured out a morning routine with your milk and diapers and getting all three of us out the door. We have a pick up schedule. But in the end we get just 1-2 hours to revel in your wonderfulness (or crankiness, depending on the day).

Some days I'm so tired at the end of it all that I can't really revel. To tired to do anything other than shove food in my face, feed you, get us changed, say hi to your father and crash.


This week has been great and horrible. I love being with you all day. I have gotten maybe one day of work done in the past 3.5.

There are so many things I want to do with you. Play group, story time at the library, boob group, spend the day laying on the floor....that's just now. Swimming lessons, exercise classes, the park and on and on.

We almost never have groceries because at the end of the day all I can think about is going to you. On the weekends it's either squeezing things into your nap time or dragging you out- which you generally dislike. So I do neither.

I don't even want to get started on pumping enough for you to eat.


Realistically this is our life for the next 6 months. Your dad is at a new job. My boss and I worked hard to secure funding for my position. Aldo financially, with the 11 weeks without pay your dad took to bond with you, our bank account resembles my grad school days. Worse actually with the purchase of two cars and a house and paying back my brain. I'm proud that we've paid off the cars. Both in under 3 years. I know what we spend every month. I have no clue what your dad will bring in, though the prospect seems good.

So I'll keep working. Trying to figure out how to take care of my boys. And myself. Bringing home my salary and health insurance for you and I. Paying our bills and building our cushion, because worse than this crazy hectic day to day is better than not knowing how to provide for you.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

3 months

Baby D,

I can't beleive you are 3 months old love. Actually 3 months and 3 days because between you, your father, work I haven't been able to get on a laptop until now. Oh, and Christmas.

We decided not to get you anything. I know. We suck. But you won't remember and we haven't introduced you to all of the toys that you currently own. I have a festive outfit and we'll call that a day.

I told your father I was happy without gifts because I have everything I want. Corny + sappy, but that's your mama. He on the other hand wants some presents. Not that he doesn't think you hung the moon. He just likes his toys. If you could land somewhere in the middle I'd appreciate it.

At exactly 12 weeks you realized that your hands are indeed under your control. My main tool to help you make the connection was my hair. Please don't make me regret this. (I realize it was idiotic, but a mama can hope right?) From around 7 weeks you've been facinated by my twists. A sure way to make you smile when you were starting to fuss was to dangle my hair in front of you. Then you started reaching. The day you turned 12 weeks you got the look of concentration, reach, connect and close hand routine down. I think you're still trying to figure out exactly how far you can reach, but if we keep it close enough you go for it.

In other 3 month old news you still hate the car/car seat. I tried to take you to a work thing the other evening and you literally did a back arch as I tried to put you into the car seat.


this would be when you woke up. i tried again and you woke up again...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Today was a big sad milestone for us- our first day away from each other. You are at a center that I spent a lot of time choosing. A place where I know you will be well cared for. But I spent a good part of today second guessing that decision. Maybe a nanny who could give you her undivided attention would be better. Or a home provider with fewer children. Or me being at home with you all day.

We had very specific reasons for not going with the first 2 and the bills have to be paid so it's where you'll be (unless I realize it's not a good fit at all). Doesn't mean I didn't hate leaving you.

Your awesome daddy came to both of our rescues though. We did drop off together as a family and when you started crying as I was leaving he stayed with you and helped your teacher understand your youness.

On a related note you've made a few sleep breakthroughs. You're still sleeping with me (daddy is on the couch). Most nights you're sleeping in a reliable pattern, eating at 10, 1, and 4. You go back to sleep pretty easily after the 10 and 1 oclock feedings, but have decided that the world should get going at 4 am. Mama is not a fan. You and I have fought for the past 2 mornings, ending with me handing you over to your father. Yesterday after 2 hrs you gave in to the power of the swing and slept. Today you weren't having it. 4 hours later you were an overtired mess when we took you to childcare.

Some night's you're super nice and decide to skip the 1 am feeding. I've decided to give in to the fact that morning may start at 4- at least temporarily. I'm hoping that you'll start sleeping at school and it will shift your evening back an hour. Things I never thought I'd hope for: starting the day at 5.

The hardest part about leaving you now is how fun you're becoming. Right now you're laying beside me on the green/brown blanket. You spend a minute or two sucking on your hand and then look around and get really excited. The hand thing started about 10 days ago. Sometimes you'll refuse the binky in favor of your hands. Dad claims you put your whole fist in your mouth, but I haven't seen it yet.

Excited involves lots of kicking and shaking your fist in the air. You make a sound just a few tones of from your I'm about to puke sounds. Kind of a heh-heh over and over. It's super cute.

You're getting into your toys, showing your excitement or cooing to them. We haven't gotten the cooing on tape yet, but I think it may be what I miss most about these early days. You will have five minute conversations with me, pausing and responding to the things I say. Always punctuated with lots of smiles.

Why haven't we gotten this recorded? Largely because you look at the camera like it's an alien. As often as I have it in your face you should be used to it, but no. I go to take your picture and your bewildered/confused face takes over. Good think I know how to coax your smiles.

There is so much more I want to tell you, but it's 9:12 and I'm beat. I also need to be prepared in case you are once again a fan of 4 am.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

on sleep

We're onto our third sleeping arrangement since you've come home. Sleep it seems, is not your thing. To be fair you have reason. The reflux I had during my pregnancy sucked. I can't imagine not being able to do anything about it.

We started you on Zantac on 10/25.

at this point something pulled me away. First we tried the arms reach and snuggle nest cosleepers with mom and dad in bed. Then we moved to shifts. You downstairs with one of us while the other slept in bed. On a good night the downstairs person got some sleep while they cared for you, but really it was a crap shoot. Then I got over my fear of sleeping with you (after a few test maps supervised by dad). I hoped that all three of us would get better sleep, and to an extent we did. I have mastered sleeping without moving and usually wake up and get you eating before you cry. You wake to eat a few times and Generally go back to sleep. Unless it's 4 am. That is your witching hour. If I don't do things just right you're up for the day. Some days you're up at 5:30 other days it's 6:30.

While you and I sleep in bed your dad is on the couch. He comes up throughout the night to check on us. After years of me beating him up in bed he's still not quite sure how I keep it together.

Eventually this will have to come to an end, but I have to say I love waking up next to you. Also your sleepy baby sounds. Though I have to say- I miss sleeping under my heavy comforter...and your father of course.

Weeks 6-7

Boy do you keep me busy. In the best possible way. I'm not writing as much as i would like, but you seem to have an internal timer associated with me eating, picking up a laptop, or getting anything else done. Case in point, you just woke up...

Here are some of the things you love right now:
ceiling fans. we think you may like them more than us right now. when you're upset and we've covered the usual causes we try to get you to look at the fan. you smile your biggest smiles at the fan and coo away.

sunlit blinds.

our bedroom set.

the mirror. you stare so hard at the little boy looking back at you and that other version of your mom. it is my number one trick to settle you down during diaper changes. though sometimes you are so intent on looking at the reflections it makes your diaper changes challenging.

Things you don't like but do to yourself:
hair pulling

knocking your binky out


all three make me laugh. unless you've done it the third time in a row and are about to loose your mind. there are times when it seems like you're doing things on purpose, though you haven't quite mastered your hands and arms yet.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Weeks 4-5

Today you are 5 weeks and 2 days old. Daddy and I celebrated your 1 month birthday with whoopie pies (though we ate them a day early) and an argument about how to best meet your needs. Then we all took a nap together in our bed- one of the few places you're sleeping these days. It's probably more accurate to say you and I napped while daddy watched and then the two of you napped while I watched because we're scared to both fall asleep and roll over on you.

In the last week your reflux has hit an all time high. The only places you would sleep are the swing and on us. Out of desperation we bought you the FP Rock n Play Sleeper. Now you'll sleep 45+ minutes on something other than your sleepy parents if we do it just right. This involves getting everything perfect- clean diaper, feeding you, giving you time to spit it up, and letting you sleep on our chest for at least 30 minutes. Then we gingerly put you in the sleeper, cover you in a warm blanket, say a prayer, and spin around 4 times. You've gone as long as 3 hours, which after days of 30-45 minutes not on us seems like a lifetime.

Though we don't love the lack of sleep (biggest understatemnt of the century) it's been killing me to see you in pain. More and more spitting up between meals makes you cry and make this sad and the spitting mad face. The faces are adorable. If I could figure out how to capture them without delaying making you feel better I would in a second. Tomorrow we start you on Zantac because on Saturday you spit up blood.

Saturday was also the start of a new phase that I'm loving. At exactly 5 weeks you started cooing. After our early am feeding you spit up, looked around the nursery and started cooing. They are the happiest sounds that you give me for 5-10 minutes a few times a day. You are more vocal in general- letting us know in no uncertain terms when you're unhappy. The other big change is in your vision. I'm not sure how far you can see in detail yet but light/shadow/contrast up to 6 feet away has you absolutely captivated. Daddy has found that you're also intrigued by the fridge, stove and dishwasher.

Friday, October 15, 2010

I missed a week 3 update. You have been keeping me busy, I re-injured myself after feeling pretty good, and grandma and I were trying to get a lot done. I've been working on your first sewed garment, we made you a few more diapers, and tackled all sorts of things around the house.

You are growing so quickly I can hardly stand it. One day last week while I was nursing you my hand fell asleep under your head. We're still feeding you on demand and (like your mama) you have no discernible schedule. Everyone tells me it will eventually even out and I hope you will comply.

I still think you're the best baby ever, though in the past week or so you have definitely found your voice. You have decided that the best place to sleep is sprawled across someone. Mom, dad, grandma- you really don't care as long as there is warmth, a heartbeat, and some breathing. I love to snuggle with you so this is great, until I need to sleep or get something done. If we put you down on another surface (your crib, cosleeper, snuggle nest, etc) you're fine for 2-5 minutes. Then you stretch and wake yourself up. You cry like we're pulling you apart and then give us a dirty look.

Other things that induce dirty looks- taking more than 2 minutes to get milk in your mouth once you've made yourself clear, changing your diaper and/or clothes and some of daddy's more vigorous play moves. Thankfully we don't get the attitude with each of these activities every time. And honestly your dirty looks are super cute.

Your father continues to be over the moon in love with you. He fights with me for you and is always happy to change your diaper (though he will exclaim about it's state for a while). He loves to play with you- though i usually think he's a bit rough. I've had to let him know a few times that you're not a puppy.

A week ago you also started doing the he scariest thing ever. You spit up stomach acid (or occasionally spit up) that comes out your mouth and nose. It clogs your airway, you give the most pitiful cry, and more of it keeps bubbling out of your mouth. We have to pull out the aspirator- which you HATE- and suck out your nose, occasionally your mouth. It takes about 5 minutes for your breathing to go back to normal and the whole time my heart is in my throat. Daddy has been talking about transitioning you to your crib, but I don't like the idea of you in a room by yourself when this happens. Mainly because during the first minute it sounds like your general waking up grumblings. I want us as close as possible until you grow out of this phase. For all of our sakes I hope you grow out of this quickly.

The only request I really have is for you to be ok sleeping on other surfaces, particularly the cosleeper. Other than a few naps your father and I haven't been able to sleep in bed together since day 2, or in more than 4 hour chunks. That and it's not safe for us to sleep with you on us. The only other place you will sometimes sleep is the swing, which i just don't love.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Week 2

I haven't finished your week 1 post because you've kept me so busy-but here are my thoughts for week 2.

You were such a good sleeper week 1. What happened? I realize it's developmentally appropriate but as I'm sure you'll come to realize, mama loves her sleep. Your dad and I are tag teaming the nights. I go to bed on my own between 8-10. Daddy stays up with you until sometime between 2-4, whenever in there you need to eat. Then I get you for the rest of the early morning. You usually wake up in the 5 o'clock hour and together we head downstairs for food (you) and tv (me).

The past 2 nights you've been really fussy so you and I have spent our part of the night in the recliner, me half way reclined, covered with a sheet on my lower half, you laying on my chest. I know this is a bad habit.

Like your parents, you like to eat. Most of the time I have to pull you off because if you had it your way you would sleep, sucking every 3-5 minutes, with my breast in your mouth. As a result you've been chunking up. You have the cutest little double chin and your stomach is expanding. All of a sudden my hand is falling asleep under your head when you nurse.

You've been having some stomach trouble so we've been trying gripe water for you. I'm a little crazy about the bottle you can use (breastflow) so you keep breastfeeding. The first day you had a little trouble, but daddy also had some technical difficulties so you may have just been pissed off. You take the bottle just fine from me, which amazes most people.

My favorite thing about breastfeeding you (other than the health stuff) is the expressions and milky smiles. Your expressions are great all of the time, but watching your face change as you get *SO* excited when you see me pull out my breast, to determination/sternness as you get going, relaxation and fluttery eyes once the hindmilk kicks in, and if I'm lucky a huge smile (nipple still in your mouth) when you're done.

You are feistier, your vision has improved and you love the living room ceiling fan. You're more vocal.

We couldn't love you more.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Dear Baby D

8 days ago you can shooting into this world- a little to quickly for mommy and daddy after having us wait 8 days. In our family we don't often do 'normal,' and you seemed to embrace this with your entrance. The front passenger seat of daddy's car, based on his telling, is a horrible mess. Despite the towel I thought to lay down ahead of time all of the liquid and goo associated with birthing you is everywhere. Grandma is obsessed with closing my purse. Usually this annoys me, but I'm thankful that she did that morning. The last thing I noticed as they moved me from the car to a stretcher was vernax all over the purse.

Since your somewhat crazy arrival you have been a wonderful baby to have. On our first night home you wanted to cluster feed for hours which made me a little batty. In the past day you've started waking, crying inconsolably half the time. Other than these two blips you have been the most perfect baby.

You crying inconsolably is shocking to us- largely because you don't really cry. If it takes me too long to get my breast to your mouth once you've indicated you're hungry and diaper/clothing changes are the only time we hear you cry. Otherwise you fuss in thankfully distinctive ways, letting us know what you need.

When it's time for your to eat and I've gotten us both positioned you get so excited you don't know what to do with yourself. You turn your head as far as possible, mouth open like a baby bird, going back and forth. Your hands get in the action also, flying around your face, often knocking my breast out of the way. In your more excited moments I sometimes have to get daddy or grandma to hold your hands out of the way.

During the day when you're awake you are generally content. You look around, taking in your surroundings. You are content in the bouncer or in one of the many pairs of hands that can't wait to hold you. Your father, who couldn't be more in love with you, often comes to me when I'm holding you and steals you away. Sometimes I get irritated, but I love watching him love you.

At about this point you decided you needed to eat. Though I spend hours on my iPod each day (tracking your feedings, googling how to make you feel better, reading blogs/baby center once you've closed your eyes but are still nursing) I don't get much time on the computer. Between eating, feeding you, sleeping, and spending time with grandma and your father I have very little time for typing. Also, once I put anything in my lap (computer, breast pump, book) you decide it's time to eat.

During your first week you loved your binky. I planned on waiting until you were 2 weeks to introduce (because that's supposed to be best) but after 4 hours of cluster feeding on your first night home mama gave in to the beautiful silicone. You're still eating just fine, though occasionally we have to relatch.

You have no apgar scores because by the time anyone thought to take them it was to late. That, and your birth time is a guestimate. I'm kicking myself for not speaking up and making it a cooler time.

Honestly your first and second weeks are running together. I can see a marked change in you and am glad I went a little crazy on week one photos. Everyone things you're gorgeous by the way.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

A fun conversation with the hubby

I've decided to do a bit of sewing. After washing the fabric to prep it I pulled out our mini ironing board (the kind you get for a dorm room) and our iron to smooth out the fabric. Hubby was getting ready to leave and asked where our regular ironing board was. I replied that we didn't have one. This in itself was enough to make me smirk.

We've lived together nearly 4 years and have been in our house for almost 2. We aren't iron people. In what is probably the least green thing we do, if something is wrinkly it goes in the dryer with a few sprays of water for a few minutes. I also avoid things that need lots of ironing.

He's convinced we have one, or one that goes on the back of a door and I said no, that must be with some other wife. He gives me a look.

Him: Well we're going to need one.
Me: Why?
Him: The baby.
Me: Ummm, why?
Him: So you can iron the baby's clothes.
Me: Do you realize who you married?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The end is nearish

For the most part I've been thoroughly enjoying the second trimester. The last two weeks of who have been crazy, but otherwise things have been good. Yesterday was 27 weeks- which is weird to say, but saying I turned 27 weeks sounds even weirder. While reading the this week you baby is doing X type updates it occurred to me that, depending on whose count you use, I'm just starting the final trimester.

In what can only be described as crazy psychosomaticness I immediately started to feel horrible. My stomach hurt and all of a sudden moving took so much more effort. Zero to sixty with not feeling good. Today I'm doing much better, but if last night was any indication I'm really in for it.

Feeling better and a burst of omg there isn't much time left had us attacking the office today. The nursery has been my craft/junk room until this point while my husband took over the office. Between boxes we'd never unpacked and my husbands love of spreading out 90% of the floor was covered in things other than furniture. We got it down to 5% before my husband tried to put something in the attic and got insulation in his eye.

Next we'll move the office furniture around some and then get my stuff in there as well. Then painting plus furniture means the baby's room will be ready.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I've always loved crafts. As a kid I cross stitched, made jewelry, and did whatever else I could get my hands on. For one of my little cousins I cross stitched an 8x10 birth sampler when I was 12.

These days knitting, some crocheting, a tiny bit of hand sewing take up a lot of my time. Baby hats are my go to project for new little ones, but the volume of babies has me a little bored. The 2010 baby count is up to 13- 9 local (including 2 sets of twins), 1 family member, and 1 from a special group of friends. Combine that with the fact that I'm pregnant meaning a crazy combination of oh so tired/must clean and organize the whole house in the next hour/who replaced my fingers with sausages and I'm about to have a baby who needs to be decked out in mama made goodies. Blankets take me forevah, as do most non baby hat things I like, so I've been branching out with the baby gifts.

So far for our baby I've made:
A burgundy sweater (minus the buttons/button hole)
A diaper soaker and
A little vest

One baby got a blanket. I wasn't pregnant when I learned about him and cast on and there was only one to make something for so I went for it.

Hats have been made for both sets of twins. One of these, two of another I can't find, and one pretty standard baby beanie.

I don't know what I've done with them but there's also been lots of exploration with booties.

For the unborn twins I want to add a little something more. I'm thinking basketballs on the front with mom's college number on the back. If it's not one of those crafts that seems really easy until you actually do it all of the babies may be getting them.

These are also way too cute to not make at least one. I'm thinking one for our boy and one for each of the neighborhood girls who will book end him. And maybe one for grad school friend's little boy.

Then there are these. Craft + re-purposing + cute. After caterpillars I may move on to butterflies.

These are just the projects on the top of my mind. Our baby also needs (in the mama is neurotic and must make these things herself kind of way) a blanket, some booties, a few hats and maybe one more sweater.

Did I mention that I also want to learn to sew?

Anyone want to come clean my house so I can use the nesting energy for better purposes?

Growth Sprut?

This weekend was a mix of fun and work- time with friends every day and some time spent getting the house ready for baby. I took naps 2 days and spent a healthy amount of time with my feet up on the couch.

Yesterday we sorted cards in the morning (hubby plays Magic and the cards are taking over the house). This was done from the couch. Then I washed my hair and we went to a barbecue. The friends who had us over aren't friends of the heat, so much of the time was spent in their air conditioning. At around 7:30 hubby could tell I was fading and we started getting ready to go. At 8 I was laying on the couch feeling no energy. At 8:15 I moved to our bed and asked my husband to wake me at 9 so I could get a few things together for today. At 9 I whined at him rolled over and went back to sleep.

I then slept until 6:55.

That combined with increased appetite for the past few days and a noticeably bigger belly since last week much mean a growth spurt for the little one right?

Monday, May 3, 2010

In the past few weeks I've worked a whole lot (regular work, extra income, and our house), gotten big and had the best doctor's appointment ever. I wrote a post about the doctor's appointment (20 week ultrasound) that blogger ate a bit back. It's probably just as well because that was definately at a hormonal crazy point and I was more than a bit whiny.

Overall things are going well. I'm not feeling sick and more foods are appealing now. It's also almost summer. I'm almost eating my weight in fruit that's pretty good. Baby isn't really kicking (at least not that I can tell) but I'm trying not to freak out. My next appointment is in 1.5 weeks, so we'll see then.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Right now I'm in awe of all single moms and moms that are pregnant with a child that doesn't nap anymore. I'm taking care of a 7 year old through the end of the week and just 24 hours in I'm exhausted. Like if I wasn't pregnant I'd be on my second or third machiato of the day.

*insert brief interlude while I daydream about coffee*

I know I'm getting off easy because he's a great kid. As in yesterday while watching (mom sanctioned) cartoons I was able to catch a few cat naps without anything crazy happening. My spidey sense kicked in any time he moved from the couch he was sitting on, which wasn't that often. The rest of the day was playing, homework, a few errand that mom left and seeing a movie. The movie was his idea, though I was all over the idea of sitting in a cool dark room for 90 minutes.

Despite the pretty chill day and almost 9 hours of sleep I am wrecked today. So to all of you moms out there- you have my awe.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Oh Bradley

So we've decided we want to use the Bradley method, or at least learn it, to prep for getting this baby out of me. In early February I did round one of research to see what was even offered in our area. Hypnobabies, hypnobirthing, and Bradley all seemed to have classes that we could do, but it was way too early. The info available was for June/July due dates.

While I waited I actually discussed the differences with my husband. About an hour of our February flight was full of sports analogies for birthing classes and doulas, followed by descriptions of it all. He settled on Bradley. I'm pretty sure he just didn't like the name of the others but I take the same approach you take with a toddler-only give choices you're willing to live with.

Last week I decided it was time to start looking again. Our schedules can be a bit crazy so I wanted to find the perfect fit. In the 5 weeks since I last looked half of the classes for September due dates have started. There are 2-3 people who list flexible arrangements on their sites who I emailed and have heard nothing from in response. All of a sudden I feel like I waited to long and messed everything up.

Next week (I have a ridiculous weekend scheduled) I'm going to try again. I just hope it's not too late.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

There's always a first

Yesterday I hit a pregnancy first. I'd hoped to skip this pregnancy milestone all together but we don't always get what we want.

The night before I went to bed with some ginger ale because my stomach was upset. When I woke up I decided on an outfit then decided to finish the ginger ale and take my prenatal. I grabbed the tshirt I needed only to realize it needed to be worked over with the lint brush. Then I grabbed the blazer I'd planned on. A blazer I haven't tried on in the past few months. Of course this was a fail. I chose something else but couldn't find the tank I needed to wear under it (necessary to hide the band on my jeans).

At this point it's more than 30 minutes since I've taken my prenatal. Usually this would do nothing or just make me feel a little ucky. By the time I got downstairs and decided on a banana my stomach was really unhappy with me. Half a banana later everything came back up, making 17 weeks 3 days the first pregnancy puke.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

It's a Baby Explosion

2009 was a big year for babies. Between friends, family, former coworkers, and work associates there were 10 cuties. Of the 10, 5 we local and 3 I get to see occasionally. I thought that there was no way that 2010 could top that, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

As of today there will be 9 local babies born in 2010. I love love love that there will be 8 babies right around the same age as our baby as they're growing up. In my head I've fast forwareded to the toddler years and am picturing play dates and birthdays with all of these babies playing together.

I also have a cousin whose wife is pregnant with their first who lives in San Diego. She's due 5 weeks before me. I'm picturing out babies playing together on the beach. Or their family coming to visit us for some winter/snow fun.

Not that it matters to you, but here's the rundown:

Neighborhood friend A: A boy and girl in late Feb.
Hubby's friend (whose wife I'd like to get closer to): A boy in early March
Study abroad friend: A boy and a girl in April/May*
Neighborhood friend B: A girl in July
Cousin: Unknown in August
Me: Unknown, Sept 10
Neighborhood friend C: Unknown in late Sept
and most recently
Grad school friend: Unknown in October

Are you picturing all of the fun with me?

The only problem I see in all of this is gifting. For showers I like to get a few of the more boring (but useful) things on a registry. Bottles, pacis, bathtub, and changing pads are a few of the more recent things. I figure most people get pulled in by the cute outfits and toys, but at the end of the day Mom and Dad will need to give the baby a bottle, etc. That part will be fine.

To increase the cute/sweet factor I knit or crochet something. In 2009 there were 5 blankets, countless hats, Mary Janes, balls with rattles, baby kimono sweaters and who knows what else. The March baby got a blanket. The Feb twins got hats. I haven't actually made anything for my baby during this pregnancy and have a long list. Between the pregnancy brain and sleepiness it takes me forever to finish things. Also, I've decided I want to learn to sew. I just don't think I'll be able to get something made for every baby before they're born. Any cute and super quick patterns out there? I'm a pretty proficient knitter and an okay crocheter.

*The April/May twins were ready to make an appearance in March, giving us all a scare. Momma is on bed rest and we're hoping they'll be patient so they can develop a little more.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Maternity Plunge

As of last Sunday I've officially given up any and all bottoms that have a zipper. I have 1 pair of maternity jeans, a maternity skirt and a few elastic waist skirts. Those, along with gym/yoga pants have been making my wardrobe. I probably should have made the switch a little over 2 weeks ago but I was being stubborn. Then I realized- how often is it socially acceptable to wear what amounts to an elastic waistband in public?

Today I did some shopping and added to the maternity wardrobe. I got 3 maternity shirts- a plain black t and 2 that I can wear to work-and 4 dresses. The dresses are what sent me to the store. On Tuesday my husband's company announced a somewhat mandatory cocktail reception in 2 weeks. I then spent 3 days freaking out about finding something appropriate. There aren't many store around that carry maternity clothing that's affordable, in my size, and nice all at the same time. On Friday my boss and 2 other recently pregnant friends all gave me the same advice. Get a regular dress a little big in a forgiving fabric and cut. So I went up a size in the regular store and found a few things that work now and should work until the end.

Tomorrow I hope to rearrange my closet, putting all of the really cute spring skirts that I have no chance of fitting into, and anything else not belly friendly away. The elasticy stuff, the maternity stuff, and regular shirts that are long enough to hide the maternity waistbands will be taking center stage.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


I recently acknowledged that I am not longer in control. Things have been much better ever since I came to this realization. The foods that I usually love & crave end up with me being sick. Lounging in my favorite positions is out. I wake up 30 minutes before my alarm on most mornings, though there's rarely a day where I couldn't take a nap. Then there's making plans. We've learned not to decide what we're going to do in advance. Instead each night he says what kind of night is it and we go from there.

I can be a bit of a control freak. I guess this is the baby's way of getting me ready for all of the things I won't be able to control over his/her lifetime.
Over the past few weeks I've gone back and forth on if this should be a public/private blog. That an if I should share the links with friends & family. While I was debating this things I wanted to post were things I may not have wanted my mom to read...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Plague

A few weeks ago my husband got sick. It started as a cold and generally feeling ucky. The Sunday before Valentines day it progressed into a crazy cough, headaches, and occasional dizziness. He spent the whole week in exile, living on the couch in our front room and staying pretty far away from me. Somewhere in the he went to the doctor and got diagnosed with bronchitis. Thanks to antibiotics and cough syrup with codine he was feeling better on Presidents Day (8 days later). That Tuesday we deemed him well enough to hang in the family room and sleep in our bed again.

By Thursday he was feeling sick and was once sent to exile in the front room. Another doctors visit came up with a diagnosis of bronchitis + flu. Maybe. He got more antibiotics and stronger cough stuff. More warnings to stay away from me.

I've stopped using our powder room and only go in the front room to deliver food. If he ventures out of the front room he wipes everything down with Clorox wipes. The last time I washed my hands this much was when I evaluated child care programs. Despite these efforts I think I'm getting sick. I'm always stuffy when I wake up (yahh pregnancy) but usually it's gone within an hour. I've been up 2.5 hrs, used a neti pot, and am still stuffy/sneezy.

Usually this wouldn't be that big of a thing. But the only pre-baby vacation we have planned starts on Thursday. So any pregnancy safe home remedies? I'm drinking tea. Planning on lots of garlic today.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

A few early bullets

  • I have a crazy sense of smell. Lunch time at the office has gotten really interesting. Though we have a conference/kitchen area the secretaries in the department where we sit have their own. I don't mind so much for afternoon popcorn, but the lunches. Oh the lunches. It should be against the rules to put fish in a communal microwave. Also anything sweet and sour, vinegary, or anything else that i don't agree with in the moment.
  • I have never loved sleep so much. I'm averaging 9-10 hrs a night. With an occasional nap. Some days this is so irritating because I have stuff to do, but most of the time I try to enjoy the fact that I can take a weekend nap without worrying about a kid. How do women handle this for baby number 2?
  • I have never been so fussy about food in my life. I'm a vegetarian with a few food allergies, but outside of the foods ruled out by those things I eat almost anything. I should say I ate almost anything. These days it takes me forever to decide on anything. This morning it took me 1.5 hours to come up with something (cheddar drop biscuits) and another 40 minutes to get up the energy to go make them.
  • Pregnancy nose (congestion sinusy stuffiness) isn't all that different that my allergies growing up, but the lack of available meds makes it fun. I finally bought a neti pot. I've used it 5-6 times and with the exception of this morning it's been great. This morning my sinuses said f that, I am going to give you trouble. I think I'll try some essential oils in the shower (if I ever make it back upstairs)
Despite the weird and crazy I'm doing my best to enjoy it. I mean really- whens the last time you slept 10/hrs a night multiple nights and didn't feel guilty?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

8.1 randomness

Yesterday was eight weeks. Aka 2/3 of the way to the not freaking out as much and not having to keep my mouth shut.

So far 4 people know- my mom (who I speak with almost daily), one of my girls from college, my favorite girl out here, and my husband's best friend out here. Right now we're in 'if they ask, don't lie territory.'

I kinda wish a few more people would ask.


Monday is our first appointment. I'm excited and happy and nervous. Last time around I went in thinking everything was fine, just trying to appease my husband. That didn't work out the way I though so I'm trying not to be over excited.


I've given up wishing for more aggressive symptoms. I get tired easily, I'm super picky about food. If I take to much time to decide on what to eat I get jittery and mean. Water, which I was really really good about before is gross.

For now that'll do. I'm trying to eat like I have good sense around the pickiness. Making sure I get 64 oz of liquid, even though I'm hating water. About a shot of juice in a 12 oz glass of water is ok, but without most the crazy calories.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It's Raining Babies!

In the best possible way. I jokingly referred to last years as the year of babies. Nothing tells you you're getting older like 10 babies being born to friends and associates in one year.

It started with my girl from grad school, then my boss, 2 former coworkers, two families from my husband's group of friends,a friend from a study abroad program, a work associate based in my neighborhood, and another work associate. There was a set of twins for those actually counting.

My husband has a big group of gaming friends-big group. We chose our neighborhood because 4 couples from the group lived here (and the house was a great deal). So our move brought the number up to five. At a baby shower for one of the neighborhood couples I learned that 4/5 of us are pregnant. Additionally exciting because the other couples have had to work with fertility docs to get to this point. Everyone is over the moon and I think I should win an award for keeping my mouth shut... It also looks like I will be due within 2 weeks of of one of the ladies.

If that weren't enough, this morning I got an awesome baby email. I have a group from one of my study abroad programs that has stayed close 9 years later. KJ, who is local announced that she's expecting twins this summer. Her wedding was the first friend's wedding I attended. It was my first trip to the state where I now live and a crazy trip to pull off- 10 of us told her we wouldn't be able to make it, let her mom in on the hoax, coordinated flights, and showed up at her rehearsal dinner wearing shirts that spelled out SURPRISE!!

So while there may not be as many babies in 09, the proximity of the '10 babies has me buzzing.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Happy Beta's

After freaking out over the lack of obvious symptoms I've been feeling and all of the random come and go symptoms I decided to email my doc asking for a series of betas. This is a blood test that measures the level of hCG, a chemical made by the cells that form the placenta. If things are going well this number should be in a certain range based on how pregnant you are and double every other day.

Three days after the email, when there had been no response I called in to ask what was going on. I may have been a bit...salty with the lady on the phone. Turns out the email didn't go through. I reeled in the attitude and explained that I was freaking out and would really like a few needle pokes to make it all better. The nurse thought I was being crazy (I don't necessarily disagree) and it took some convincing. Eventually she ordered the tests, I suspect to get me off of the phone.

Yesterday we got the result from the first test and I'm happy to report that they look good. I also took my second test, so on Monday I should get another round of results. With these results I will officially stop wishing for other symptoms.

In other news I'm 6 weeks today! Half way to the 'I won't worry as much and my husband will let me start buying baby stuff mark!'

Monday, January 11, 2010

Stupid Things I've Done Today

*Forgotten what I needed to retrieve from our bedroom in the time it took me to walk up the steps. It take oh, 30 seconds to walk up to our bedroom...I sat on the bed for 2 minutes before remembering.
(dry cleaning plastic bags for my class tonight if you must know)

*Transferred a fax to myself...sometimes people try to fax my office phone. I can transfer the call to the fax machine by hitting "transfer, fax extention, transfer." My problem? I typed in my extension. Then got annoyed that my phone was ringing back to back. Good thing I have 2 incoming lines.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Things I Never Thought I'd Wish For...

tender breasts

Really, who would. Only a crazy person. Or a pregnant one.

Those are the most common physical symptoms of the crazy changes going on right now. 25% of women don't get the symptoms and are considered to be lucky, but I'd happily take a little sick right now. Just a physical check in that things are going as promised.

The only things I've noticed are hard to measure. I think my sense of smell is increased. My husband has a chronically bad sense of smell, so I can't tell if I'm imagining things or if the 2 onion slices were really taking over the house last night.

The other symptom involves my husbands behavior. Last night he got on my nerves hardcore. But sometimes he's just like that. He gets into silly mode and though I tell him I'm having none of it he doesn't stop until I explode. When last nights explosion came he said "And you say you're not having any pregnancy symptoms."

I emailed my doc to see if I could get blood work done, but he hasn't gotten back to me. Until then I'm going to try for cautious optimism. Maybe also try to focus on my work a bit too...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

It's the beginning of the year and most people are full of resolve to change their lives for the better. Loose weight, pay off debt, be nicer, whatever. I'm not much of a resolutions girl. Last year I did overarching goals for the year. This year I was am considering doing a list of 29 things to accomplish in my 29th year.

On January 3rd I learned that we'll be adding a new leaf to our family trees. If all goes well- knock on wood, salt over the shoulder, etc. Usually I'm a glass half full kind of girl who isn't superstitious. Only I'm in a whole other universe with this pregnancy stuff. Last summer I felt (relatively) fine. Went to the doc and found out I wasn't fine at all.

Caution optimism. With some wood knocking just in case.

So if all goes well 2010 will be the year of increasing our family, a change in my 9-5, and all sort of other changes we cannot yet foresee.