A Year of Dates

A few months back my husband and I celebrated three years of marriage.

A few things to know about me- I procrastinate. Dates sneak up on me. I prefer gifts of the time intensive thoughtful sort. I sometimes get overwhelmed by gift giving.

These things do not work well together.

Not at all.

But sometimes I manage to pull it together and knock it out of the park. Or at least into the outfield.

This past year we've been focused on our boy and functioning on too little sleep and money. We are doing ok, but I wanted to do something to keep our relationship strong. Much more useful than anything I could come up with in the leather, crystal or glass arena.* Also, even pre-baby we were bad at planning dates.

I can't remember where I first got the idea. No doubt it was baby feeding/middle of the night blog surfing of some sort. When I started searching around again I found Shannon from Life In General.

I brainstormed a list of things I've been wanting us to do and things he likes. Then I consulted my girls for a few extra ideas. And then (because over-researching is my thing) I read a few date night blogs and date idea websites.

The next step was assigning dates to months. Date specific things to those months. The outdoor stuff went to warm months. The indoor stuff to cold months. The final consideration was how busy we'd be that month. The crazy months are at home dates.

I'll write more about the logistics next week.

*traditional and modern 3rd anniversary gifts

13 Months

Right now you are loving:

the broom/swiffer/duspan
your toothbrush
the clear maracas at childcare
mama's cell phone
really any phone
The Very Busy Spider
playing bucket head

The dislikes, we'll chalk those up to toddlerhood. You have no love for any form or being restrained (see high chair, car seat, crib) or being fed. You want to do it all yourself and get where you need to. Unless it's time for cuddles.

The thing that's making me shake my head the most. When dad picks you up at child care you give Ms. F, the assistant a hug when she asks. If I'm there you ignore her totally, or play shy. Only once did you give in to the question. It was after 5-6 asks and a refil of your bottle. Even then it was more of a lean than a hug, your chest touching hers with your arms stubbornly at your sides.

10

Overdrive.

That is the theme of you at 10 months.

The skills you spent the last 2 months learning have been perfected and you are on the go and intense.

You don't crawl anymore, you zoom. You know how to crawl on your hands and knees, but don't really like it. For a few days you experimented with putting your right foot flat on the floor, perpendicular to your torso and everything else in regular crawl position. That wasn't it either. After trial and error you've ended up in a modified army crawl- using your forearms and feet, with your belly lifted just enough not to drag.

Since you've figured that out you've been off. Exploring the hall and rooms upstairs, going from the front room to living room and up the stairs.

You will take steps if we hold your hands or you are pushing the cart at child care.

Purees are only tolerable in small doses and then you want food. You especially appreciate cheese. Your pincer grasp still leaves much to be desired, especially when you are trying to chow down. After a few tries you start grabbing with your fist, bringing it to your mouth, opening your hand against your mouth and hoping for the best. The seat of your highchair has the grubbiness to prove it.

At child care you are thriving. In my work brain, I know you learn a lot at child care. That you you have important relationships there*. But seeing it in action is so cool. You have buddies. Luke is your favorite and I sometimes spend a few minutes peeking through the door to watch you chasing after each other. The other morning Dad watched you two take turn pushing the other across the room in a Radi0 Flyer cart. One would push until the wall, stop, then the rider would climb out and stand to push once the other climbed in.

You take the 'work' you do there and apply it at home. Your favorite work is essentially a wooden piggy bank with a large hole for retrieving the coin. Two days after you first did this you started using mason jars as the vessel, dropping pieces in then pulling them out. Over and over again.

To join your tantrums you have started shaking your head no. I don't think you quite know what you're doing. But you use it in the right moment enough to leave me guessing and laughing.

You have perfected high fives and still love peekaboo. You play shy around others. The combination of your smile and curls continues to melt hearts. Mine most of all.

*that's why we pay more than our mortgage for child care each month

First Kiss

Monday while we were celebrating the 4th with the Kings you gave me your first real kiss. Until this point from time to time you've done an open mouth sucking on my cheek. You've done this after a kiss or whenever you're generally happy with me.

We were hanging out, sitting on their couch when I decided to make a fish face at you. Since your teeth came in you've been a pro at all sorts of funny motions with your lips. We don't think you had ever seen a fish face because we didn't do them and the child care ladies thought it was hilarious.

Back to the 4th. You made a fish face at me, then I made one at you. I got one of your mega watt smiles and then you leaned in and pressed your closed lips against mine.

Not that you'll do it again.

Wanderlust

Today I talked to my baby cousin Colleen. She's 24, has a degree, and works full time but to me baby always comes first. We grew up like sisters, spending countless hours on the weekends and over the summers doing nothing and everything together.

She's on her way to Europe for a few weeks and wanted to say bye before she left. It's a bit of a habit that we have, even when life has gotten in the way of regular calls.

For just a moment I was wistful for my single days. I had been talking to my mom, lamenting the fact that this was my first time without a valid passport since I was 18. That's not so bad, but there is no need for a passport anywhere in on the horizon, when the phone rang.

My old passport is well worn and full of stamps. Ten years ago this month I got on my first plane to Europe. Two weeks of learning about social justice in Ireland. That trip kicked off visits to 25 countries over the next 4 years. Trips where I learned about the world and myself at the same time.

In those trips and resulting tales I inspired Colleen. After my mom she was the most interested in my pictures and stories. When Coleen started planning her first semester abroad she called me full of excitement. We talked packing, itineraries and hair. I visited Nice through her stories and photos. Then she thanked my for getting her inspired about studying abroad. And helping her mom to see that she would come home in one piece.

Now she's on another trip, making memories, ready to take pictures and bring back stories. I am excited for the experiences she will have.

I love my husband. My son. Our home. My life overall.

I also don't spend money I don't have.

But there was a little piece of me that wanted to jump on the plane with her and spend three weeks exploring.

ocho

Each day you manager to get cuter. And your personality explodes.

I was trying to explain your temperament to some ladies at a conference last week. We use a video that goes through temperaments- flexible, fearful and feisty. My dear, though i didn't want to admit it, you are feisty. I was originally going to say flexible, but you are flexible until you're not getting your way. Then we're all in trouble.

This is especially fun when paired with your 2 favorite things to go after- cords and plastic bags- and your newfound mobility. The rolling got us into a little trouble. But this week your Dad and I realized we are skewed. As if to celebrate your eight month birthday, you started army crawling on Monday. It's not all that efficient. Or graceful. But it gets you places.

The extension cord you Dad has been using for his computer has been your favorite goal. On Wednesday I grabbed a few things for dinner from Target on the way home. I absentmindedly put the bags down and then put you on your play gym 3 feet away while I grabbed your dinner. In less than 2 minutes you had grabbed a bag, turned it upside down and were vigorously shaking it. When we take these things away from you we get thrashing and tears. But we need to if you're still going to be with us long enough to read these posts.

You are getting stronger when standing. You look for every opportunity to pull up and then do your head banging bounce.

In the early morning when I bring you into our bed in the hopes of a little more sleep you look at your Dad and start babbling. Loudly. Definitely a trait you got from him. But you are excited to see him. I smile with my eyes closed, waiting the requisite 5 minutes before I ask him to please take you downstairs. The key seems to be gently getting you into bed already asleep with crossed toes.

In the past week food has also clicked for you. You've also done ok with cereal, but veggies and fruit were hit or miss. Maybe the ear infections played a part. You've averaged a tablespoon or so of solids until the past week and now you're eating three that and looking for more. So far we've covered sweet potatoes, butternut squash, green beans (your previous fav), bananas, mangoes, plain greek yogurt (wish we had recorded this one- best faces ever), carrots and applesauce. I think we should do tofu next. Dad does not like this idea.

Your father and I can't wait to see who you will become. It's exciting to see your personality forming. I will always cherish your newborn days (and that lack of mobility thing) but I'm so excited about what's to come.

Sewing machine love

Baby D is doing better, which means mama has time for crafting. Too bad the sewing machines are all temporarily out of commission. Yes machines plural.

Machine A was left in the basement of the house we moved into when i was 15. It's lived in Pittsburgh, DC, and Denver since then. I'd fiddled with it a few times here and there- all unsuccessfully. When I was pregnant and the sewing bug hit full force I took it in to see what was wrong. I can't remember the details, just the $165 price tag.

I went back and forth. I can get a new machine with fancy stitches for that much. But it's a solid machine with metal insides. I was talking to a coworker about this and another offered her grandmother's machines, leading to machines B & C.

Machine B- A Montgomery Wards machine, circa the 1980's. It does the basics well. At least until I took the bobbin casing apart to clean it and messed it all up. I only ever work on it when I'm ready to sew- aka impatient.

Machine C- is an old Necchi that has 10 or so programmed stitches. It does the basics just fine, but with a squeak that made me fret a bit. I oiled all of the visible parts, but didn't want to unscrew any panels (see machine B's story). In one of those round about conversations with the maintenance guy at office 2 he shared that he used to be a commercial sewing machine repair person. I asked about the squeak. He offered to take a look.

So right now the closest to working machine is sitting in his shop. Half naked and soaking in oil.

Baby shoes, a tshirt tote, my first quilt (getting the layers together) and so much more are ready.